Me & the bean

Yesterday we saw the first picture of our beautiful little Jolie or Owen in my belly. Hearing the words "theres a baby in there" from my doctor made everything seem real, and as soon as I saw that beautiful, tiny heart beating I was in love. 

Every time I have gone to the doctor I have been asked the question "do you want to have kids" anyone who knows me knows that this is my dream in life and I want nothing more, so of course my answer is yes, and after that comes the response that I guess they don't remember telling me the other times I have seen them "well with your PCOS it is going to be difficult to have children" so Adam and I began trying thinking it would take months, if even at all... shortly thereafter I started to feel sick, every night like clockwork I would feel sick, I was falling asleep t 10 p.m. (not normal for me) and so I took a test, it came back negative... still I continued to feel this way for 3 straight weeks and after 3 pregnancy tests coming back negative I decided to stop taking them.... 

One night Ilene and I went to Target and I decided to buy another pack of them, we were outside Target and I told her how I had been feeling, but that I need to stop getting my hopes up, she told me I need to take another test, we hung out till 1 a.m. and I went home and thought I would take one just to see what happens... I looked at it after a minute, nothing... then I looked at it again and there 2 lines! After 22 phone calls and a cup of water I took another one which read the same, the next morning it read the same, in the target bathroom with a digital test that read "pregnant" I finally believed it. 

I only wish my mom and grandma were here, how lucky this baby would be to have them in it's life, but then I realized that they know them, he or she is being cared for in Heaven before it comes to bless us with it's presence and will be so loved by so many. 

My blessed baby bean has been making its presence known by causing me constant morning sickness, but as long as it is OK in there I will take whatever comes my way!