My true self

I read lots of blogs, most of the women read about are very creative, I envy that... I am not creative... sure, I can decorate the heck out of a room and I accessorize well, but when it comes to a hobby, I dont have the typical one... some knit, some crochet, some bake and cook...

I well I....twilight... yes I made it a verb... I twilight.

What does one who "twilights" do might you ask? Simple... I read, watch, listen to anything having to do with twilight... sometimes I do all 3 of them... yes, I admit, at one point I was listening to the new moon soundtrack on my iPhone, watching twilight on my laptop and reading eclipse for the second time on my kindle (it was a long road trip, OK?) Tonight on the elliptical I watched twilight while reading new moon for the second time, oh did I mention I had on my "team Edward and team Jacob shirt" as I did all this...

Now what might be going through your head, is how did I not realize you were the biggest nerd on the planet? You may also be thinking to yourself, why am I reading a girl's blog who just made a movie a verb and is obsessed with a teeny bopper, vampire flick? But trust me, if you meet me you may not realize this about me, Im a private twilighter. Sure, I may have a poster of Edward at my desk at work (which I don't always keep up) but unless I told you that this is what I did in my spare time, (or that as I write this new moon is playing,) you may not think I am the total and complete geek that you think I am right now, but trust me, there are others who twilight out there... someone you are sitting next to may be one!!!!

But here I am and I am not ashamed to admit it, I am a twilightaholic. I understand if you stop reading, but admit it, you love that beautiful vampire too!

Dieting SUCKS!

I LOVE food, I mean really love it, I am often teased (lovingly of course) by my best friend Ilene about how I can describe how something tastes, perhaps now you can understand why a diet is no fun for me, especially when it comes to a diet to lose this baby weight... i remember when I first got pregnant I thought, yes finally time to let my inner fat girl run free... and then the nausea came, horrible, you cant eat anything nausea, I lost half a pound after thanksgiving at 4 months pregnant, I was the weight I had always wanted to be at 5 months pregnant, (the more I think about it maybe Owen was trying to tell me something from inside the womb???) After 23 weeks of not being to hold much of anything down my body decided it was time for me to eat again and eat I did. Chicken fingers and cheese fries... boxes of capri suns and tons of gatorade... I quickly gained the weight back that I needed to, but I wasnt in any ways huge, so I thought it was ok, I was determined that after Owen was born I would go back to working out and eat well, and hope that my young age may help those last extra pounds melt off... boy was I wrong!

Sure, the first 28 came off pretty quickly, but then that last 4 was still lingering there, it helped I wass till breastfeeding and was burning roughly 500 calories to be a milk machine, but what I didnt realize is that after you stop those french fries and chicken start to stick, and oh how they did... soon I had ballooned to a point where I almost felt like a different person, none of my clohes fit and I was miserable!

I decided to go on a diet, and I stuck to eat for a good 2 and a half weeks--only lean protein, veggies and fruit... but then the weekends happened and I realized I couldnt live like this for the rest of my life and the second my lips touch a peice of bread its all over! So here I am on weight watchers, 11 pounds lighter in a month, 16 pounds lighter since Christmas, and I feel much better, in fact I am almost lower than my pre pregnancy weight, now the goal is to lose another 15 and stay there, which is a challenge everyday, especially since again, my body wants to stuff itself with french fries, chocolate and ice cream, it doesnt want to wake up early to go to the gym, or stay on the elliptical, it wants to go home and eat a reeses peanut butter egg and relax!!! Thankfully I have my friend Lindsay to come with me to brave the crazy body pump and cycling teachers with, that helps keep me motivated! I will be in a bikini come Owen's first birthday, in fact I will be serving cake in said bikini, even if it is still 40 degrees outside.. I will be showing this body off! not really, but I would like to be to the point where if I wanted to people would not be speaking about me for weeks behind my back, "can you believe she did that at her sons birthday?" "no i cant, especially since her tummy was so flabby, it would be one thing if she was skinny" i want them to be thinking "if i looked like her id be doing the same thing" like I tell my skinny friends, if I had their bodies I would be walking around in a bikini, maybe not everyday, but a lot of the time and when someone told me I was so thin and looked great I would reply with I know:)

Before:

its not the best show of how big I was, but look at how wide I was and my face looks so fat!!!!!!

After (3 weeks ago)

(this is the only shot I have of me so far, but notice my face isnt AS huge anymore... when I lose more I will post more! I have lost 5 more pounds since this was last taken!!!

Owen 9 months

Dear sweet baby Owen,

You are 9 months old!!!! You are amazing and so smart! These days you're a wild man, crawling and pulling up on everything, you wear me out, but I am loving every second of it, I prayed for God to give me an energetic, fun loving baby and here you are, you are more than I could have ever asked for! I like to think of you as adventurous! I love to see the look of joy on your face when you see something you really like, there isnt anything quite like it, but it makes me want to vuy you everything because you look so amazed by it! You are saying mama, dada, baba and you can wave hi and bye!

You also are quite the dancer, I love to play music for you and watch you bend your little knees to the beat, if youre especially happy youll wave your chubby arms in the arm!!!! You are pulling up on everything in sight!

You weigh 19 pounds, 13 ounces and are 28 inches!!!!! Dr.B said he was very impressed by you and how you stand alone at your 9 months check up... yes you stand alone, only for about 15 seconds but you still do it... you have even tried to take steps, I think you are going to be a walking machine soon!!!!

You have one little corner of a tooth popping through, I am thinking that by this weekend we should see the appearance of it, I know your teeth were just waiting to be healthy and strong until they decided to pop through!!!!

Your favorite time is still bath time! You love the water, we put you in the pool with Heather and Riley and you loved it! I am going to be taking you back to go in again, I want you to be a water-baby so we can go to the beach lots this summer!

You are the most amazing little soul and I love you so much!!!